When I come visit you for a playdate, you apologize for your house looking messy or dirty. You convey regret, almost embarrassment because you did not dress up or put on makeup…for me. Why do you worry about how I see you? Who has wounded you with judgment against you and your home life?
Let me tell you the truth about what I really see. First, I see a kind friend who has generously welcomed me into the interior of her precious family life. The character, the warm feel of unique memories, is so cool to see. Now I’ll be honest. Sometimes taking in your lovely home and all that you have triggers self-judgment and guilt that I have not achieved more for my family. But it’s just a fleeting thought that is quickly overcome by my deep appreciation for your desire to spend time with me and my boys (who will likely leave their mark in your house. Sorry!).
Valuing our chance to connect and grow in friendship, I want to know about you – what’s on the inside. How are you doing, really? What’s your story? Dear friend, please know that I think you are beautiful just as you are. No makeup or trendy clothes. I could not care less about your eye liner or wardrobe. So what if your house is crammed with enough toys to fill a Chucky Cheese? Who cares if you’re in sweat pants and mismatched socks and your kids are jumping on a couch with holes in the fabric? I come because of you, not the material aesthetics and worldly charms.
Dear friend, please know that I see you. I value everything you graciously share with me and delight in God’s gift of your presence. I admire everything you are and revel in the ways your talents and spirit bless me. My truth is so far from what the world loves: money, appearance, working constantly to feel like you matter. Instead, my truth is a love that will always reach out, scoop you up, and let you know that you’re not alone. I see you my beautiful friend. Do you see me?
Colossians 3:12-14 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.