My Friendship with a Man Who is Not My Husband

Man walking with guitarSan Diego was a lifetime ago. Every Sunday I would attend a boisterous young adult program after mass with a thriving community of friends at St. Brigid in much loved Pacific Beach, California. That’s where I met Rick.

I’ll be honest. About 10-15 years older than me, Rick was stalker-like friendly always wanting to talk extensively and give me CDs of his music. I responded kindly, but was mostly in avoid mode. Then, after less than a year of attending St. Brigid, I moved away.

Nine years later, Rick and I still email weekly even though I’ve only seen him once since I left. He has openly shared so much of his life and has generously prayed for and genuinely supported me and my family wanting nothing but a Christian friend in return. He calls me little sister.

Our relationship has evolved from me humoring him as a pen pal to truly caring about his welfare, praying for him, and being so grateful that God has woven this faithful friend into my life. While we’re not BFFs, I have never had another friend who has stayed the course so unfailingly over so many years.

I am truly thankful for what God has revealed to me through Rick. It’s another form of His holy presence, kind of like a little guardian angel who is there for me and I for him. It’s a gift of reciprocal sharing, prayer, and encouragement that I no longer take for granted.

Romans 12:10: Love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor.

At first I was resistant to the idea of Rick in my life and thought I would leave him behind in San Diego. God had other plans. And over time, He has opened my eyes to what it means to see a person for their innate beauty and the God-given instrument they can be in your life as you are in theirs. Through Rick’s steadfast friendship, I can see God IS with me.

Nurture the companion relationships in your life, dear friend. Through their presence, God is touching your life in transforming and loving ways.

John 15:12-13: This is my commandment: love one another as I love you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.


One thought on “My Friendship with a Man Who is Not My Husband

  1. Those kind of lasting friendships seem far and few between these days. The kind where you can share your heart and know that there is genuine interest without personal need. Loved this little inside view to your friendship, friend. 🙂


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