It’s an honor to have Tiffany Parry of simplyforone.net guest blog today! Her words are an inspiring, heart-resonating blend of loving lessons of faith and a call to healing and knowing God’s truth. My friend Tiffany has a deeply moving fire and talent for writing. Read her insight on regrets and amends…
If I could flip through a scrapbook of my twelve years with my son (for illustration’s sake, let’s say I had time to scrapbook) there would be many wonderful memories to sift through. Snapshots would capture the excitement of all the “firsts” and the proud moments of motherhood.
If the photos reflected reality, they would also display the memories that make my stomach roll and shame come calling. The days when I was impatient, when words were spoken out of exhaustion and blew up into anger. The moments I should have embraced instead of dismissed as annoying interruptions.
Regrets have a way of surfacing in vivid color and fading the happier memories to gray.
No one can truly prepare us for parenthood, can they? We can read the books and heed advice up to our eyeballs, but being responsible for another life is the biggest journey of faith we will ever embark on. It is a step-by-step, trial by fire, uphill battle. The rewards are promised, but aren’t always seen in the trenches.
Like any battle of faith—we moms face a real enemy. The devil loves to condemn us for our errors and convince us that our losses far outweigh our wins.
We can get so seated in our parenting regret that we lose sight of our personal redemption.
Just because we’re somebody’s mom, doesn’t mean we aren’t still a sinner in need of a Savior. God doesn’t give us a child to raise and expect, or even ask us, to get everything right.
The accountability of parenting doesn’t diminish the power of forgiveness.
We make mistakes—as people, as parents—it’s our nature. It’s the way we handle the things we do wrong and apply our faith that brings us to a right-standing with God.
The quickest way to erase regrets is to make amends.
“You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from Him. The result [will be] all gain, no loss. Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain.” 2 Corinthians 7:8-9 MSG
To avoid regret, we keep short accounts. With God, who already knows we’re not perfect and with the people we love, who need to know we realize we’re not either.
Children are so forgiving. And it’s an attribute we ought to capitalize on. They see us through eyes of unconditional love and they don’t define us by our mistakes. It’s the way we love them, right? The same way God loves us.
It’s a powerful and far-reaching example to set for our kids when we’re willing to confess our wrongdoing and give them the opportunity to exercise forgiveness. It’s a tangible lesson in grace – the perfect way to model the cross.
When we humble ourselves and sacrifice our pride, forgiveness washes away regret.
There are some not so pleasant memories I’d like to rip out of that scrapbook. Some things I’d go back and re-do and a few I’d like undone all together.
But shame won’t recover the past and guilt only cripples the future.
We serve a God who is a receiver of amends and a remover of regrets. For the ones we offer today and the many we’ll bring in our tomorrows. For us, for our kids, and for every generation to come.
Let’s set the pattern—to willingly confess, wholeheartedly forgive, to train up our children in His grace. To treasure every memory knowing that none are in vain.
God chose you to raise up the precious lives He’s entrusted to your care—He has no regrets.
About the author…Tiffany is exceedingly grateful for a God who knows her flaws and yet prizes her as precious and chosen. She is wife of sixteen years and has just embarked on the tween adventure with her twelve year old son. A lover of words, Tiffany purposes to use hers to speak truth and encourage others that while life can be messy, God is greater. She welcomes you to follow along as she pursues God and leans into grace on her word-by-word journey through the mountains and valleys of faith at her blog, Simply for One.